For several years now, I've increasingly been meeting gentlemen who are using an escort service for the first time and are therefore understandably unsure or nervous. Many tell me during our date that they spent months thinking about whether they should even dare to do it. I genuinely take it as a compliment that these men choose me for their very first escort date.
I thought it would be a good idea to write a blog post as guidance for newcomers and, more generally, for shy or insecure men. It also helps with Google rankings, and I'm desperately looking for topics that actually have real substance 😅. If anyone has ideas for blog posts, I'd be happy to receive suggestions by email.
Getting in touch
Introduce yourself briefly in your email (or, if you prefer, in a bit more detail) and describe your wishes and expectations for the date. Are you looking for a Girlfriend Experience, or do you want something more in the dominant submissive direction? Are there certain things that matter to you in particular? What makes a great date for you? What do you value most?
You can write anything that comes to mind. The more the escort knows about you and what you're looking for, the better she can cater to it. It also gives her the opportunity to tell you if she might not be the right match for you. Then you can book someone else who fits your preferences better.
Also keep in mind when reaching out that you're not ordering food on Uber Eats or anything like that, you're looking to enjoy an erotic experience with another human being. Mutual chemistry matters, because you don't want to go to bed with someone you find unlikeable (at least I hope you don't, although some men may be more primitive in that regard 🤷♀️). And as a client, it should be in your interest that an escort doesn't accept every request indiscriminately. If she does, she likely won't be happy with it in the long run.
If you're still inexperienced with escort services or you're simply more on the shy side, you can and should say so in advance. A professional escort wants you to feel comfortable and to have a great experience. If a man tells me that he is insecure or shy, I take that into account during the date. I try to ease his nerves as quickly as possible and take a more active lead.
If the escort doesn't know that you're simply nervous and that's why, for example, you're rather quiet or avoid eye contact, she might think you don't find her attractive. That, in turn, can make her feel insecure as well. This has happened to me before, and I was always relieved when the gentleman then told me it was due to his shyness and not because of me.
Or if, out of insecurity, you hesitate to move from conversation to the erotic part, the escort might assume that a longer talk is what you want. Meanwhile, you may already be wondering the whole time when she will finally stop talking and go to bed with you 😅.
Open communication is the key to a great date. Especially for insecure or shy men, it often feels easier to discuss everything in advance by email and to explain themselves. If an escort reacts impatiently to your questions or your insecurity, and it seems as if she only wants to lock in the appointment as quickly as possible, take it as a sign not to book her.
Patience and empathy should already be apparent in the initial contact, because that is part of an escort's work as well. So you really don't need to feel uncomfortable about asking questions. Before you do, however, please make sure your questions haven't already been answered on her website. For example, I also get a bit impatient when someone asks whether I offer incalls or how much an hour costs, because a quick look at my "Essentials" page is all it takes. You don't write website copy for yourself 🤷♀️.
Body hygiene before the date
Shower right before the date. No, a shower a few hours earlier, for example in the morning, is not enough 😉. When you shower, make sure to clean your intimate area very thoroughly, including the anal area. Penis and testicles are not allergic to shower gel. If you feel more comfortable with it, you can also use a fragrance free shower gel from the pharmacy. Water alone is definitely not enough. Also make sure to clean the glans properly, meaning that if you are not circumcised, you should pull back the foreskin and clean everything thoroughly.
Brush your teeth right before the date, and avoid foods containing garlic or onions from the day before. You can't expect to be kissed passionately if your oral hygiene isn't up to standard. I don't just brush my teeth, I also chew gum on the way to the meeting and only get rid of it once the date starts, so my breath is genuinely fresh.
Some men have asked me whether they should shave their intimate area. I genuinely don't care, and I have absolutely nothing against natural body hair. What matters is simply that you're freshly showered and well groomed. If your pubic hair is very long, it can make sense to trim it a bit, so that no hairs end up getting stuck in the escort's teeth.
The start of the date
Even though you're paying for an escort date and it's the escort's job to adapt to you, try to make her feel comfortable and be attentive. Offer her a drink. If it's a shorter date of two to three hours, that can of course simply be water. Talk with her for a little while first. An escort is not a piece of meat you ordered for immediate consumption.
Even on a date that's only two hours long, a short conversation of 15 to 20 minutes should be possible, even if you'd prefer to pounce on her right away. But since you're a human being and not an animal, you should behave like one 😉. The obvious exception is role play that starts the moment she arrives.
A few compliments also help an escort feel good, because of course she wants to appeal to you physically as well. If you show her that you like the way she looks, it won't just make her happy, it can also give her a certain sense of reassurance. That often carries over into the erotic part. I hope you understand what I mean, it's probably more of a female thing 😅.
The erotic experience
Good sex also depends on open communication. Everyone has different desires and preferences. If the escort does something you don't like or that doesn't really turn you on, say so directly. She can't read your mind.
For example, there are men who find nipple stimulation extremely arousing, and others who don't even want their nipples to be touched. There are men who prefer a handjob to be very gentle and slow, and others who can't get it firm or fast enough. Some like steady, repetitive movements, others want a lot of variation. Some men have a very sensitive glans, while others only respond to very strong stimulation.
Every penis responds differently, just like every clitoris. Instead of simply enduring something you don't actually find pleasurable, communicate openly. Especially with an escort, there's no need to feel shy about it. She knows that every body reacts differently and that every man has different preferences. She won't feel offended if you tell her what you like and what you don't.
An escort date can also be a great opportunity to explore erotic new territory and try things you haven't experienced before. Human sexuality can and should evolve over time and not stay stuck at "fucking, licking, sucking". There is an incredible amount to discover in the world of erotica, and an escort date can be an ideal setting for that, because nothing has to feel embarrassing or uncomfortable. Both people remain anonymous, and you don't have to see the escort again. My advice at this point: live out your fantasies!
If you have specific wishes, it's of course advisable to communicate them in advance so there's no disappointment during the date. Naturally, not every escort is open to everything. Some things also only come up in the moment. For example, I've spontaneously taken many men's anal virginity. Sometimes they say "no" at first, but most of them end up wanting to try it after all 😁.